How do we solve Nepotism in our churches?

If there’s one thing that I think is an issue that we don’t actually talk about in our professional ministry settings. It’s nepotism. It’s kind of a hard thing to talk about because people are called into ministry. How can we deny them that just based on their last name? See I don’t think nepotism is based on that person. You don’t get to pick who your parents are and you don’t get to pick if God calls you. There is a chance that my daughter could very well decide to go into ministry if she is called. Which could be very ironic considering the topic I’m writing about. I think the idea of nepotism, especially in the church, comes down to a couple of different things.

While in Bible College, there were a few of us¹ and we would always have this conversation, that regardless of how good we are, there will always be someone whose daddy has a bigger name than yours and they will get the job over you. I’ve been in ministry for 14 years and in that time I have been passed over for a job twice to a pastor’s kid.

I’m 33 now, 14 years in the game. What I know now is vastly and wildly different from 19. (I was in my 2nd year of Bible College, which is wild to think about) My parents aren’t ministers. They are blue-collar people. They put in work to give me and my siblings everything we had. Nothing came easy to us. So the idea of someone getting a job because they had the right last name was wild. It took my breath away. I didn’t know how to process that one. I would hope that’s not how we conduct searches for leaders at any level in our fellowship.  But I know that we do. I was asked recently about someone’s kid who was in ministry as well to take over a position. In my head, I threw up. Not because that person is bad per se, (although I haven’t had good interactions with them) but the question came and it was based on that person’s name. Not on their ability to lead.

Nepotism comes down to the idea of doing a friend a favour and pushing or hiring someone for their last name. Or that someone is entitled to a job because of their last name. Those are the two things. The problem then is how do we fight that? Would it be fair to make people jump through extra hoops, an extra interview or two just to pass the nepotism test? That probably won’t work. As long as humans exist, there’s always going to be the idea of trying to help someone out or the idea of passing some ministry down to a son or daughter. I’m not sure nepotism will ever go away. We still struggle with diversity. We still struggle with women in leadership. There are still people who feel entitled to leadership because of their last name. I’m not sure who is worse. The people who show favouritism because of someone’s last name or the people who expect favouritism because of their last name. Both are two sides of a poisonous coin.

In talking about this topic I have to ask though, is this a generational thing? A racial one? What happens when millennials become the dominant age in the lead roles? Those are probably some deeper questions worth looking into. When it comes to our churches now, it is probably a bad sign if there are 2 or 3 staff members with the same last name. The structure won’t be good and it will be difficult to operate organizationally. There will be problems. There always is, maybe not on the forefront but under the surface.

We can’t seem to fix the human issues that hit the church. How do we solve nepotism?  I don’t have the answer, maybe someone else does? I just am not sure we’ll ever solve it. I do know this. I’ve had a few conversations over my 14 years with people who have felt the sting of losing out on a job because they didn’t have the right last name. Or felt the injustice of someone receiving preferential treatment because of who their dad or mom is.

Nepotism exists let’s not pretend it doesn’t. But let’s commit to showing less favouritsm. I think there are many people who have been passed over for jobs because they don’t have a last name that makes waves. On the flipside we shouldn’t look down on someone whose last name makes waves. They have a name they have to live up to and sometimes it’s harder for them.

1. By us, I mean black people.